Don’t swim in my toilet and I won’t piss in your Liverpool!

23 08 2009

William Heise Camping 6-09 064

ASTON VILLA 3, LIVERSPOTS 0*(or so sayeth the prediction gods)

Prognostication time! Anybody can comment on a game after it has already taken place. Child’s play… What I’m choosing to do here today is predict the outcome of a game not yet played. How can I do this you ask? First off I’d say, “Shut the hell up and quit being a nosey bitch.” But secondly, and more importantly, I’d say I am sure of it because of a simple sign. A sign from the gods, if you will. I was out hiking in the hills of tranquility yesterday when I stumbled upon a branch struck by the finger of god via lightning bolt. This lightning strike etched into the very wood a sign of greatness, a sign of the future…

Just as the Mayans predicted the world’s end in 2012, a lesser known Mayan prediction stated that in the year of our Lord, 2009, Villains would rule the earth. So you see, it is not by my talent, as great as it is, that I predict a victory for Aston Villa over Liver-spots. I am merely a mortal man reading an immortal sign of the times. When Aston Villa stands the victor on Monday, holding Liver-spots freshly-shorn scrotum sacks triumphantly in the air… you can say, “It’s not their fault they lost, it was destined by the gods.” Amen and God bless Aston Villa!!

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3 responses

24 08 2009
Jacob

Those are fighting words!! Hope you and the villians can back up your talk. By the way….nice tank top!!

24 08 2009
Sean

Those crazy Mayans. I hope they are wrong about 2012. I concur with Jacob about the tank top.

24 08 2009
Jacob

Holy Crap!!! The match just ended and the Villians won 3 to 1!!! Is Nostradamus a Villa fan? Great game!!!!

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