If Aston Villa could sing they’d be… Destiny’s Child

24 08 2009

ASTON VILLA STUNS LIVERWURST 3-1!!!

Yes, Aston Villa dominated at Anfield today. Yes, my Mayan friends and I were right.  Yes, destiny determined the better team and the better team was clearly the Villains. And yes, Liverwurst is the most over-rated team in the Premier league. But no, I’m not going to gloat. That would be tacky and in poor taste. That is why I’m asking my friend “Frank” to take over the typing right now so he can do the gloating for me. Bluaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Liverpool sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, Franks’s gone. I’m back. Let’s be honest here, Aston Villa could have only played Brad Friedel and a moderately trained Mandrill monkey and still come out on top. Friedel was an impenetrable wall, stopping everything the red and white threw at him. Friedel reminded me of my wife’s chastity belt when we were dating; iron-clad, stubborn, and no matter how many hands, feet, and squirrely tricks thrown its way… it remained a bastion of defense. So well done, Villains! Well done, Friedel. And as the legendary singer Freddy Mercury used to say, “The more you fight, the more this is gonna hurt. Best you just sit back and enjoy it.” So Premier league… we can do this two ways. I’ll give you a week to decide. Atta boy, Villains! You truly are Destiny’s Child!

Advertisements

Actions

Information

4 responses

24 08 2009
Sean

I’m in love, I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows it!

25 08 2009
Jacob

How many players did Liverpool have that looked like they just got released from the hospital? No wonder they got owned, they were all wrapped in bandages. Torres looked like Luke Skywalker when he got beat up by that snow monster in Empire Strikes Back.

25 08 2009
Stacy

I was playing scrabble and had enough letters to make “Aston Villa Football Club” and was gutted when I found out it was only worth two points.

25 08 2009
Andy

I am currently filing the paperwork to sue the makers of scrabble! I would also like to note that if you rearrange the letters in “scrabble” you can spell “Chelsea rules!” Interesting. I thought I smelled a rat. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: