Chelsea celebrates victory… as only they can

31 10 2009

Today the Chelsea Football Team let their hair down and celebrated their 4-0 victory over the Bolton Wanderers. When Michael Ballack was asked for a quote he responded, “You spin me right round baby, right round like a record, baby!! Chelsea rules Bolton drools!!”… and then galloped away at a gingerly pace.  

Man, I’m glad I’m an Aston Villa fan… hey, didn’t we beat Chelsea? …Me thinks we did.





Is Blackburn Ground Zero for H1N1?

30 10 2009

Swine Flu

I’m not sure if Blackburn is just a cesspool breeding ground for disease, or if it is because they just returned from a trip to Chelsea (have you seen Drogba?) but at least three Blackburn players and some staff have the Swine Flu with Big Sam (the manager) being the latest victim.

This news is dominating the pre-match report with both teams needing to shuffle tactics at the last minute which is never easy.  According to many different reports, the updates to the keys for the match are:

Manchester United defensive tactics: Airborne, masks, Purel, and Lysol

Blackburn Offensive tactics: Coughing, spitting, over abundance of hugging, high-fives, and jersey swaps at the half

Key battle: White blood cells v viruses

Probable United line-up (4-4-2): Van der Sar, O’Shea, Evans, Vidic, Evra, Valencia, Scholes, Anderson, Giggs, Berbatov, Rooney.

Probable Blackburn line-up (4-5-1): Anyone not sick, H1N1.





Mr. Mike “The Jagoff” Ashley

27 10 2009

Newcastle-wanted

Soccerway.com is reporting that Newcastle United owner Mike “The Jagoff” Ashley has taken the club off the market. Ashley has also pledged to put another 20 million pounds into Newcastle this week to keep them financially stable following his unsuccessful attempt to sell the club. In a statement released by Ashley he plans on renegotiating the clubs sponsor and kit deal, which expire at the end of this season, as well as welcoming offers for the stadium naming rights for next season. Mr Jagoff also anounced that caretaker boss Chris Hughton accepted the offer of permanent manager.{to read full article http://www.soccerway.com/news/2009/October/27/newcastle-no-longer-for-sale-as-hughton-handed-full-time-job/ }

First off, Chris Hughton has done an excellent job running things amongst the chaos, but does he have the balls to fight for players during the transfer window? Can you really see him standing up to Mr Jagoff? I can’t.

Secondly why the hell is Ashley NOW willing to put money into the club and attempt to maximise its commercial revenues? Isn’t that what an owner is supposed to do from the start? Who the hell is this guy?

I’m trying to wrap my mind around this whole thing: relegated…hiring Shearer…selling to a buisness man from Dubai…selling to Moat…not selling to Moat…giving Moat more time…selling to an American based company…going into administration…now taking the club off the market and changing the name of St. James Park…….WOW! Good luck Jagoff!!!!!! I hope you know what your doing!!! Way to make new friends douche!!!





Carling Cup Truths Revealed.

27 10 2009

M13394

One of the most complaints that I receive about following football from non-football fans is that there are just too many competitions to follow. This makes it difficult to understand what they are even watching.  I usually enjoying hearing this question, and politely explain the different competitions, the participants, and the overall meaning to the club.  I feel like a shepard guiding the lost.

Then the Carling Cup enters the fourth round and the non-football fan is thrown straight back into the abyss of confusion.

Question: What is the Carling Cup?

Answer: It is another tournament style competition.  Similar to the FA Cup.

Reply: Another competition? I hate soccer.

So, to try and find an answer to satisfy the non-football fan, and to give them an reason to the existence of the Carling Cup, I turned to Wikipedia for support.  This is what I got:

“The Football League Cup, commonly known as the League Cup or for sponsorship reasons the Carling Cup, is an English football competition. Like the FA Cup, it is played on a knockout (single elimination) basis. Unlike the FA Cup where 762 teams entered in 2008–09 only 92 clubs can enter—the 20 clubs of the Premier League, and the 72 clubs of The Football League, which organises the competition. Unlike the FA Cup, the semi-finals are played over two legs. ”

Is the best definition for the Carling Cup saying how it is not like the FA Cup?  Interesting.  Non-football fans, I have no answer.  My only hope for the Carling Cup is not victory, but rather no injuries.





Liverpool F.C. 2 Manchester united 0

26 10 2009

Oh yes this has been a great weekend. It has been my pleasure to treat my good friend Sean to a six-pack.  I set the clock at 7:oo am right when the game started because i didn’t want to wait.  I wanted to just wake up and just turn on the tv and watch. Watching the game rubbing sleep out my eyes, I could clearly see that Liverpool was back. They were playing with heart again. Yes, I heard the talk that our big name  players were injured and we can’t win without them.  But after watching the Reds play this game, there was not one player on the pitch that I wouldn’t call a big name.  They all owned it. Another thing I liked about this game was Man-u looked good, their defence looked good and was spot on. We beat them at their best.





You cut me deep Reds. Manchester United 0 Liverpool 2.

26 10 2009

85906492

I had my POST-MATCH smack post all lined up and ready to go.  I was going to smack Jason, and smack him good.  I thought for sure we would pounce on what Sir Alex called a “wounded animal” and take care of business.  It turns out that I was the one getting smacked.

At least I got to watch the horror alone, without the clever remarks and the constant “ooooooo” that would have been flung at me by my fellow Thugs, as Livapoo pressed all game.  Liverpool played like they had to win, and United played like we shouldn’t lose, and you all know where that gets you.  Without a killer instinct, the best result you can get is a draw, and Liverpool wouldn’t even allow that.

The upside is that whenever United and Liverpool square off, the Thug that is victorious owes the losing Thug a beer.  I arrived home to not only one beer,  but to an entire six pack.  That’s how bad the loss felt, and how good the win must have felt for Jason.  Well played J, well played.





VILLA DANCE: EDITOR’S CUT

24 10 2009