The Thugs have been speculating for some time now that Berbatov has a side job as a hitman or at least in an organized crime outfit. This is not some clever play on words alluding to his goal scoring ability, we actually think Berba works for a Bulgarian crime family.
A few more clues to add to the ever growing list in our investigation:
1) His goal against Blackburn. A wonderful strike that would cause even a player of Ronaldo’s status to run down the side of the pitch minus a shirt. Berbatov’s response, run approximately 3 yards and slide on his knees (slowly) and say to the crowd, “Come on”. That’s it. That’s all the emotion we got. Someone who is that devoid of emotion must whack people. If I would have scored that type of goal on that stage, I would have run the length of the pitch minus shirt and shorts. Actually, when he scored I did run the length of my living room minus my shirt and shorts, but that’s just me.
The next two go hand in hand. There are plenty of things that United haters could comment on, but for some reason choose not to:
2) The headband. Actually, the fact that nobody makes fun of the headband, hair, or the significant retreat of his hair.
3) Google images search. Half (no exaggeration) of the images that come up from a Berbatov search identify some sort of modeling photo. Again, nobody chooses to bring this topic up.
All of that and the fact that he scores goals with the precision of a sniper. Sorry, I had to do it.