Sophisticated Thugs

14 08 2010

Your Thugs have grown up.  We are now the Yanks.  Why the Yanks, you ask?  It was pretty simple for us.  The second we walked into a pub wearing our respective jerseys, we felt judged.  Not in a stereotypical way, but in the way that makes you question if you belong.  Every time we strolled into a different pub it almost felt as if the entire room looked and pointed at us and yelled, “The Yanks! The Yanks are here!” even if it was only because of the way we looked.  We have been judged and this is how we respond.

Yanks Call it Soccer is our way to channel America’s judgment of the beautiful game and turn it into something that will prove our worth as fans.  We have the same amount of passion, love, knowledge as anyone across the pond.  We live and die each match day and bleed the respective colors of our team.  This is a collection of writers that have been joined together for one purpose.  We hope you enjoy the change.

We’re confident you’ll enjoy what’s to come.

Be sure to make the switch, reset the bookmarks, and update the RSS to our new home at: Yanks Call it Soccer





Yanks take over the EPL!!

10 08 2010

I love Aston Villa. I love the US…. to think that I may get my two favorite things in the same bottle brings a tear to my eye. It’s like being able to drop a deuce in Vegas while I smoke a cigar and nibble on shrimp cocktail. Tommy likey. Tommy want wingy. Hey Chuck, you know that new sound you been lookin’ fo? Well, listen to this…

United States head coach Bob Bradley is being considered for a career-defining move to the English Premier League with Aston Villa!!!!

Oh, and screw Martin “Shizzah eater” O’Neil!!!





Chelsea’s Away Kit – As Bad As Any Newcastle Jersey

15 07 2010

Well, we discussed how bad ass Chelsea’s new home kit (seen to the right) is a while back.  The red pop in the collar, and the Batman-tight fit will be flying around the Bridge and scoring goals like never before.

Our away kit, which was just released, is the complete opposite.  Black and orange? Are you kidding me?  Are Chelsea going to be playing in AYSO this season?  I hate, hate black as a jersey color.  It’s meant to look tough, but it just looks dumb instead.  And orange?  Where exactly is that coming from – are we trying to recruit Wesley Sneijder or something?  Hopefully the third kit will be a step up from this.  Last years 3rd kit was f***ing sweet – (hint for any Thugs looking for a last minute Christmas gift for Markie).

Hull City here we come!





My hair is a mess, I feel fat, I have cramps, and you’re taking ME out of the game?

1 07 2010

Bert van Marwijk, the coach of the Netherlands, has asked his team to unite and come together when they face Brazil on Friday. This order came from the reports that “Nancy Boy” Robin van Persie had a hissy fit for being taken off the pitch during the 2-1 win over Slovakia. Little Robbie felt that midfielder Wesley Sneijder should have been the one taken out instead of him.

Robin had this to say after the match:

“I wanted to finish the game. I thought they would take risks in the last 10 minutes and I wanted to exploit that, I could see spaces opening up and I wanted to use them, so I was a bit shocked when I had to go off.”

OHHH…..too…..many…..comments……to…….say…….must……get…….help!!!

You won the game Nancy!! Stop bitching!!





Drogba takes a Chelsea on the beach

1 07 2010

My friend, “Man U Sean”, started a trend of renaming the Chelsea bandwagon bitches “Poo” and/or any variance on human feces, and I want to make sure it stays strong. So this is just your friendly Aston Villa reminder to never again use the filthly word “Chelsea.” From this day forth they are known as Poo/Poo Mongers/Mr Poobody/Poo Diddy Combs/Pooma/Will work for Poo/Vegan Poo/etc… I apologize that this is all 3rd grade material but there is just something about Poo/Chelsea that makes me want to eat glue, wet myself, and clean chalk board erasers.

*Pic was taken when Drogba was on vacation in Hawaii and didn’t want to walk the 15 feet to the head… I hate Drogba.





Good Luck………Goodluck Ebele Jonathan

30 06 2010


Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (center) is the president of Nigeria and has a pretty powerful approach of inspiring his country’s national soccer team. Since Nigeria failed to advance out of their group and since they were one of the heavy favorites out of the African teams in the World Cup, Goodluck has felt it necessary to take matters into his own hands and use his powers as president to lead, encourage, inspire, and demonstrate his love for the beautiful game by……….suspending the entire Nigerian national soccer team from competing in any international competitions for two years due to the embarrassing and horrific performances during World Cup play.

The BBC reported:

Nigeria’s president has suspended his nation’s football team from international competition for two years after a poor showing at the World Cup.

Special presidential adviser Ima Niboro told reporters the decision by Goodluck Jonathan will “enable Nigeria to reorganize its football.”

He said: “This directive became necessary following Nigeria’s poor performance in the ongoing World Cup.”

Uhhhhhhhhh am I missing something? Does this make any sense to anyone? I understand that the country needs to retool its program but not allowing them to compete at the top levels for two-years!?!? I almost find it harder to believe that the president of Nigeria actually has a name like Goodluck Jonathan.

Well, good luck to you Goodluck…………Good luck.





Steven Gerrard is a class act.

30 06 2010

O captain, my captain.  What defines the best footballing captains in the world?  A man who can be in the high-profile position of England’s captain, sitting at the foot of a humiliating defeat, and respond with a statement of this quality.

I am definitely not one to pay compliments to any player on Liverpool, but this Stevie G is one class act.  After the humiliating loss to Germany (even with the goal that should have been allowed) the captain of England was front and center taking the beating like a man.

“Everyone in the dressing room was hurting afterwards, the coaching staff and the players. We’ll go away in the summer and analyze things personally and as a team.

“Who is to blame, the manager or the players? Everyone is to blame. We came into this tournament with big togetherness and it would be very unfair of me to pick out individuals. For me it’s the group. If we’d have won we’d have all got pats on the back so we have to take the responsibility and the grief ourselves.

That’s exactly what I would like to hear my captain say.  “We” this and “we” that. No fingers were pointed, no excuses made, he simply said we should have done better.

I agree that they should have, look at the squad, but it takes a man to say what he said.

But it takes a man’s man, a true leader, a legitimate captain to go on and say this:

“If you look at the game as a whole we’ve been beaten by the better team.  We had good parts of the game where we passed the ball well and got into good areas. At 2-1 if Frank’s goal would have counted it could have been a turning point in the game, but we can’t use that as an excuse. They’ve scored four goals and we only got one, which tells it’s own story. We made too many mistakes as a team. Germany were more organised than us and were clinical.”

England at least has one thing to be proud of and that is their captain.








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